Wide awake, it's too quiet

I spent a lot of time sitting in my bedroom today, trying to distract myself. When my mind wasn't occupied with some triviality, my thoughts started getting scattered and conflicted. Now I'm running out of things to do and can't stop thinking. I have to face my feelings and try figure them out, I have to put on image of being organized and mature in a little while. I don't really want to meet the woman that my mother's ex-husband married. I don't want to go to that house but there's no way out of this, without looking like a witch. What I know of this guy is skewed, from very old memories and what other people have said. Apparently he loved literature, and was writing a book. I just remember someone with an alcoholic problem and bad temper. My mother told me that she hated him in university because he never studied but ended up with nearly perfect grades. Really? I don't know. That's kind of sad actually. The last time I saw him was bad, my parents thought they could just have a nice visit. But it turned into a screaming fight, and I hid in my bedroom until he left. Then my mother made me run down the street and give his wallet back. It was terrible, it was heartbreaking when I heard him say my name. Then I walked back home and couldn't stop shaking. She didn't seem to understand that hearing them fight was just like being a little kid again. And I mean that in an entirely negative context. This is going to turn into a much longer wall of text then I anticipated...
There are a lot of things I haven't thought of in years or pretended never happened.
Maybe in the morning I'll have a clearer mind about everything.
The pathetic fallacy outside though is just so irritating.